When I began this blogging project, I intended to post once a week or so. Perhaps “or so” was a little too ambiguous for a master procrastinator like myself. I have been suffering from a pretty severe case of writer’s block, in a way. Actually, it’s more like my mind has been word-logged with so many things to say and no good method of sorting and organizing it all. As I have mentioned before, I am a very wordy person, putting great importance on the use of words and the ability to communicate thoroughly. I love to talk about my thoughts and feelings, sometimes to the dismay of innocent bystanders who are forced to listen or at least put on their best pretending-to-listen face. I find myself often telling others, my children in particular to “use your words”. The problem recently has been the intensity of my feelings and my “all or nothing” mentality. Sitting down to let my thoughts out on paper in a logical, readable way seemed almost impossible. In order for my words to adequately express what I wanted them to, I could only imagine blurting out five hundred words at once in a grand exclamation. Since that was obviously not an option, I could only keep them all in my head.
Over the last couple of weeks, my way of thinking has begun to shift, however. I have experienced several events recently that left me speechless, feeling that words would taint the sacred nature of the moment. (I would like to tell you about them but, well, you can see the problem so just trust me and feel the vibe.) I discovered the answer was not to use all of my words, but rather to use none of them. Silence is just as important, if not more so than the words we use to fill it, the salt of language that seasons the message we want to convey. When my children were born I spent a good deal of time thinking about how I would explain all of the things they would inevitably question. One concept that worried me was the idea of love. Certainly they would hear me tell them so often that I loved them and they would ask what it meant. How do you look at another person whom your world revolves around, for whom your heart breaks with the most intense love on a daily basis and explain that to them in words? Luckily, I was wrong. They never once asked about love, though they tell me they love me every day. Some things are so instinctual, so embedded in our nature that they require no explanation, and for such things sometimes the best way to express them is to simply be quiet, be present, and feel.
Music has a similar function. Where words are lacking, the notes intervene and bridge the gap between intellect and emotion. When I was driving home from Nashville a few months ago, playing Ted Jones’ and Steven Sheehan’s latest album, “The Road Home”, I heard something I hadn’t noticed previously. One of my favorite songs on the album, “Monteagle” came on and I cranked it up. The lyrics are beautiful, haunting, heart-wrenching, but the music was just as compelling. I listened over and over, fighting tears that were triggered by a guitar solo and I thought that was the most impressive thing a musician could do, to stir someone not with words or music alone, but the perfect combination of both. A great song makes every second count, the words and the notes between them expertly blended to succinctly and beautifully convey a message that either component alone could not do as well. In case my words are falling short, hopefully the song can intercede and express what I cannot…
Hear the song “Monteagle”at the link below.
http://www.dreamtrainmusic.com/theroadhome/monteagle.php
Monteagle Church painting by artist Jessica Matthews
https://www.facebook.com/jessicamatthewsart
https://www.etsy.com/shop/JessicaMatthewsArt?ref=l2-shopheader-name
