Every day above ground gives me great cause for celebration. I’ve been trying to make the most of this short life ever since my father died when I was 21. I put my dreams of being a novelist on the shelf for a time and joined a rock band, even though the thought of playing in front of people terrified me. I’ve been a musician ever since — that’s a long time, in the scheme of things! I have chosen the road less travelled, seeking adventure and knowledge; and so often have chosen the path of most resistance, even when it was not a healthy choice.
Unwittingly, I often chose suffering over joy. In fact, I didn’t realize that “happiness” could be a goal until sometime after my mother died when I was 33. They didn’t teach that at my school or at my church and it wasn’t until I started learning about meditation that I heard that it was okay and right to seek happiness — not just a temporary buzz, but true happiness. It requires a lot of letting go and, yes, being in the moment. Not being attached to outcomes but loving the work.
Being happy takes a lot of hard work, but it is truly worth it. Whenever we give up something our mind “needs”, such as cigarettes, alcohol, ice-cream etc., it hurts for a while but then one day you feel an incredible freedom from that craving and you never look back. It is the same with jealousies — letting go of such resentments creates lightness of being. I am back on this path now. It’s hard to be consistent and I have wavered many times.
When you meditate and sit still, you are simply not reacting in the usual way to thoughts. You sit and let the thoughts rise up and disappear like bubbles. The painful thoughts leave your mind and body because you aren’t reacting to them.
Do this every day for 20 minutes and the negative thoughts and emotions gradually lose their hold. Silence and sitting still is the key. “Here I am. I am here.” I’m not out there. Here. Just here.
