Buck suffered a stroke in April 2004, and its affects continued to shadow his every move in his final years. Cancer had cost him part of his tongue in 1994, slightly hampering his communicative skills. Despite such health challenges, at the time of his death, Buck was vigorously working on his memoirs and a new album, having recorded completed six tracks that would impress even his biggest fans. Two of the new songs already were crowd favorites at his Crystal Palace shows: “Morning My Love” (a riveting, ethereal love song) and “All Alone Again” (a chillingly soulful, synergistic duet with Yoakam).
LAURA: Can we talk about your new music? The songs you played for me are some of the most soulful, beautiful songs I’ve heard in long time.
BUCK: Well, I’d already started the idea (of a new album). I’d already done some of the work when I had the stroke….And I’m trying to finish it, but, you know, a lot of the thoughts — they’re either there or they aren’t. It takes a lot of time, and I don’t have the energy I once had.
LAURA: How important is it to you to get this new album out there?
BUCK: Well, it’s one of the most important things in my life. But it’s not as simple as you think. I’ve lost some dexterity, and I’m playing all the instruments! It used to be there in my fingers, just waiting…
LAURA: How do you deal with the frustration of losing what you know?
BUCK: Well, it’s so difficult. I have a terrible time dealing with it. But I have a great internist and she says, “Keep trying, Buck, because it’ll keep coming, it’ll keep coming back.” And, you know, I believe she might be right. I believe that some of it, my memory, my recall is a little better. Every once in awhile I get real frustrated. If I try too long, I become agitated and unfriendly (laughs). So, I don’t.
LAURA: So you’ve had to set new boundaries, for yourself and with others?
BUCK: Yes, and it’s so much better since I’ve been doing that. But at first I couldn’t understand: “Why can’t I do this? I’ve always been able to do those things, why can’t I do them now?”
LAURA: The songs you played for me, are these recorded after the stroke?
BUCK: Most of them.
LAURA: Well then I don’t think you have much to worry about.
BUCK: Yeah, I think they’ll be real good, but it’s whether or not they’ll be a financial success.
LAURA: Why would you even care about that, at this point?
BUCK: I don’t care, except for a matter of pride.
LAURA: Pride aside…where do you see yourself in the history of country music?
BUCK: Well, let me just say this: I haven’t thought about that, and it would take some thought to give you a good answer. So, I’ll give you an honest answer for now.
LAURA: OK, I’ll wait on the extended version. (laughs)
BUCK: Good. Well…I hope that they see me as absolutely honest, as a person that didn’t do something because I thought people would like it and so forth, that I stayed right to what I thought, the way I wanted to do it, how I wanted to do it — and if I even wanted to do it. That everything I did is what I was, what I am — that it all came from me.
I don’t think I’ll need to wait on the extended version. As usual, Buck has underestimated his ability to get it right the first time.
As our time together is coming to an end, I see the beginnings of song Buck is working on, lyrics laid out on the table next to the many instruments that fill his living room. They read:
When it’s time to say goodbye
When it’s all over
When you’ve had your
Last roll in the clover…
Laura McCorkindale is a film producer and writer, having most recently produced the Golden Globe-winning Iron Jawed Angels starring Hilary Swank for HBO. She is also a freelance country music writer and a former award-winning journalist and columnist for various Gannett publications.
